Does anyone else have any [clean] funny and embarring stories?

My husband and I ( Before we got married) Went to this little rinky dink zoo which was so cute and uncrowded I loved it. Well We that day was doomed from the start. Firstly I'm terrified of spiders. Well We were in the spider room and a guess A huge brown recluse got out of it's enclosure and scurried right next to my head. My husband saw it before i did and told me to give him my shoe. I didn't have any clue what he was talking about so I complained that they were 60 dollar boots i was not handing them over. So then he had a bag of popcorn bought from the refreshment booth. He ended up smashing the spider with it. We found out later it was their prize spider exhibit and he had squished it. Thank god they didn't find out. Then we had gone to the bird atrium with a fresh bag of oranges and bread and popcorn. It was for feeding some of the birds. Well we walked in and Everything was so peaceful and quiet Until i turned around and saw a parrot diving like a bird of prey at my husbands face with talons extended. My husband heard it flapping anf turned arounf out of instict he punched the parrot in the face . I thought he had killed it. It looked dead ROFL It hopped onto its feet and in the drama my hubby had dropped the pop corn the bird stole a chunk of bread and began to wander off before seeing my husbands bright red converse shoes which attracted him to attack my husbands shoes and therefore his foot. He leaped around shaking the bird and his foot in a frantic manner but the bird soon after decided he enjoyed the bread more and wandered off. So now to make him blush i just bring up the parrot incident